GETTING MARRIED: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE?
A ZOOM talk by Professor Rebecca Probert.
7th April 2021

Fifteen members attended this event which was postponed from the 20th May 2020 due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Professor Probert is the leading authority on English marriage laws and practices. Based upon years of painstaking primary research, including studies of thousands of couples, this talk explained how, when and where people in past centuries married. She described how the detail was often in the small print and those who are interested in tracing the lives of their ancestors will now be able to draw on this material to better understand their ancestors’ motivations in this most personal and universal of areas, and whether their choices made them exceptional or normal for their day.
She also discussed how this historical legacy has shaped our current laws, and what the options for the future might be.
Several people asked a range of questions including the situation on non-legally binding marriages. Contrary to what is depicted in novels and films a ship's captain cannot legally conduct a marriage ceremony.
Bertram Brockington

REFLECTIONS ON EVERYDAY EXPERIENCES OF BREXIT AND THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

On 14th July 2021, Dr Katharine Tyler, Associate Professor in Anthropology, and Dr Joshua Blamire, Research Fellow, spoke on ZOOM about their research in the South West, and in Boston, Lincolnshire, into the effects of Brexit and Covid on individuals and society. Their work involved in depth individual discussions with people who were prepared to talk about their view of the impact of these events. These conversations had not yet been analysed as data, nor had they been presented in a graphic form. The ideal of belonging to a worthwhile community, of social closeness, was being challenged by disruption, a lack of security, and a feeling of being isolated. Politicians were viewed as those who tended to look after themselves to the extent of breaking rules and laws which were supposed to apply to everyone.

Media, especially newspapers, were keen to paint dramatic and one sided explanations for statistics,whether for unemployment, voting in elections, or Covid infections and their causes. Their aim was to sell newspapers rather than provide reasoned discussion. The interviews showed a far more nuanced picture. For example the South West was seen as a good place to live, but not if you were involved in tourism, hotels and catering. Boston was the area most strongly wanting Brexit, but what were the reasons that this was so important to the population? Were the inhabitants irredeemably racist, or did they feel left behind and losing any sense of control of their lives?
All in all a worthwhile sharing of information for us all.
John Swain

CONVERSATION CAFE
November 2021

For several years, Jo Hughes from Exeter University has been running a Conversation Café for foreign students at the University of Exeter, and u3a members. This developed from the Family Class, a course Jo teaches to family members of overseas students studying at the University. The informal Conversation Café sessions allow students homelands and culture. For the last eighteen months the meetings have been held over Zoom, but, all being well, we will meet face to face again in January (there are no meetings in the Autumn term). Over the Spring and Summer terms this year it became clear that some of the students were having a particularly hard time during lockdown, including those in 'one-person' accommodation and those on research degrees where, even over Zoom, they mostly only met with their supervisor/s. Even where they saw other students in a Zoom meeting, they tended to stick to business and not socialise when the meeting ended. One student had been in the country for two years but had seen very little of it. Since arriving in Exeter she had hardly spoken to another person face-to-face, except for exchanging a 'Hello' with other students in her block.
During a discussion of British food and drink, another student said that she really liked English beer, but hadn't been into a pub. She had no-one to go with and didn't like to go into a pub on her own – clearly something had to be done!
Mary and I asked Jo if she would pass our e-mail addresses to Ana Carolina (from Rio de Janeiro) and Xinran (from near Beijing), asking if they would like to come to our house for tea. Since then we have met up with them a number of times, though they haven't always both been able to come – apparently, from time to time, some of these students actually have to work on their degrees!
They have come to us for tea – on one occasion a cream tea with some of our u3a friends. We have been out to places that are difficult to get to on public transport, such as a trip to Saltram House carrying on via Princetown (the prison is a 'must see') and a walk through Bellever Forest and up the tor, followed by tea with Jo in Dunsford - Jo lives on Dartmoor. We went to Sidmouth Folk Festival and had a pub lunch (bangers and mash). We also went on a pub crawl – a very small scale one – ending up in the Duke of York on Sidwell Street, very much a local's local, where we were accosted by a very chatty and somewhat inebriated regular – so the full pub experience!
Ana left Exeter at the end of August to do some short placements in London museums (including the Natural History and Science Museums – her PhD relates to travelling museums) and is now back in Brazil. Xinran will be in Exeter for at least another year and we hope to get together with her again soon, perhaps for a traditional English roast.
Dave Parsons

HAPPILY EVER AFTER? DEPICTIONS OF HAPPINESS IN LITERATURE
Dr Kisty Martin, Senior Lecturer in English Literature

At the beginning of May 2022, twenty Exeter u3a members attended this event whch was a wonderful return to the University campus for the first time since Covid struck in March 2020. It was very fitting too that it should be a literature event since it was a literature lecture which had been the first victim of the lockdown restrictions over two years ago.
In a fascinating lecture, Kirsty took us through some key insights into what is happiness and how individuals might find it.
She introduced us to the work of Marion Milner, an author and psychoanalyst, and her book, A Life of One’s Own, referencing in its title Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own. At the age of twenty-six, Milner decided to keep a daily journal of the moments which had given her happiness each day.
After briefly considering Aristotle’s interpretation of happiness as flourishing, we were brought into the twenty-first century with David Cameron’s focus on national happiness in 2010 and the Office of National Statistics keeping a measure of levels of national happiness. Building on the idea of individual happiness in its social context and whether happiness is appropriate, Kirsty quoted Robert and Ed Skidelsky (How Much is Enough): “Happiness is good only were it is due; where sadness is due, it is better to be sad.” Members may remember that Ed Skidelsky gave us a lecture on the social particularly financial conditions necessary for a good life in 2016 ( https://u3asites.org.uk/exeter/page/68917 The Future of Work and Leisure)
As a very innovative introduction to literature’s take on the theme, Kirsty looked at the children’s book, The Snail and the Whale by Julia Donaldson and how the snail found happiness.
She then focussed on the twentieth-century and the influence of modernity, looking closely at the thoughts and writings of Virginia Woolf and coming right up to date with Ali Smith.
The context of spring was referred to by several authors and was very timely, and whether it gave cause for happiness or otherwise with its feeling of rebirth. Kirsty quoted writers from Chaucer, with the opening to The Canterbury Tales (“When April with his showers sweet”) to T.S. Eliot (“April is the cruellest month.”) through to Ali Smith’s novel, Spring.
There followed a very lively discussion with an interesting exchange of ideas as to the individuality of happiness. It was suggested that perhaps modern society and culture don’t enable individuals to experience moments of stillness when they have the time to stand and stare and to open the senses to the little joys of each moment.
Kirsty contacted us to say how rewarding and stimulating she found the response to her lecture, commenting that “It reminded me of all sorts of things I need to keep in mind (questions around privilege, the importance as well as the imperfection of measures of happiness). It was helpful to see the different ways in which people might connect with questions around happiness -- I was really grateful for the open-minded and generous engagement with my work.”
So, overall it was a very happy event for both u3a members and University lecturer alike!
Trudi Learmouth

NOTE: Some of the works Kirsty referenced, are freely available online:
VIRGINIA WOOLF
(https://gutenberg.net.au/plusfifty-n-z.htmlwoolf)
THE YEARS Ch.1914
MRS DALLOWAY
THE DEATHOF THE MOTH AND OTHER ESSAYS (1940) Thoughts Of Peace In An Air Raid
MARION MILNER
A LIFE OF ONE’S OWN
(https://jaketobin.online/8/ALifeofOnesOwn.pdf)

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